Rolling in the Deep
OA is Adele This is apart pf the Sisters Mini-Series in the Songfic Series. Bold Italicized Lyrics indicate Shadefall's POV. Italicized Lyrics indicate Fernleaf's POV. Regular type indicates the story-line from the POV of either she-cat. It might be a tough read, but it's gonna be AWESOME, so enjoy! Rolling in the Deep There's a fire, starting in my heart. :I look at him, smiling coyly. His ginger pelt ruffles in the wind and his unusual golden eyes catch mine. I imagine how we must look at this moment to the fireflies that glow softly around us: a smiling ginger tom and a dark gray she-cat who can't stop her heart from beating quickly in his presence. I imagine what Fernleaf would say. She would gush about how amazing it must be and how I'm oh so lucky and how 'Of course you found someone Shadefall! I told you!' :And to be fair, I didn't think I would find anyone. But I have. I love Ember. It's a shame it's a secret though. Because if the Clan found out one of the leader's daughters was in love with a rogue....they'd kill him and maybe me too. So for now it's a secret. But he told me he has something to tell me. That's why we're here. Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark. :"Anyways," he says, sitting down, his eyes bright but serious. "I really had to tell you this..." :Is he going to join the Clans? I think in wild excitement that is so unusual from my usual toughness I shiver. :"I've been feeling really bad. Making you sneak out like this to see me, and all. And hiding it from your sister and Dad and Clan and all." :I nod. So far so good. :"But I have to be honest with you..." he takes a deep breath, "Shadefall...I love you..." :Yes!!!!!!! :Utter joy. A fire in my heart that burns so brightly and ecstatically I almost miss his next words. The words that bring me back to earth and remind me I am not Shadefall, romantic and lover. I am Shadefall, the leader's daughter known for being tough, cynical, and cunningly intelligent. :"But I'm seeing Fernleaf too." Finally, I can see you crystal clear! :My claws unsheathe automatically and Ember takes a step back. "I'm so sorry, it's just...I met her a moon ago, just before I met you. And she was so sweet and kind and I just..." his eyes are big, "I accidentally fell in love with her." :Romantic Shadefall whispers, "But you love me," :"I do," his eyes are telling the truth. :Cynical Shadefall stands suddenly, making him leap up. She stalks forward, cornering him to the trunk of a tree, "And was that an accident too Ember? Who do you really like? Because it has to be her if you're trying to kill me by telling me this." :"I didn't...I wasn't..." he sputters. Go head and sell me out, and I'll lay your s*** bear. :"Leave," I hiss, crouching low. :He is clearly in turmoil and pain. I do believe that he loved me, that this was all a mistake. I know he's telling the truth. But absolutely love has turned to absolute hatred. :"But I love you!" he tries to come forward, to comfort me and explain. But I won't have it. See how I leave, with every piece of you. :"No!" I hiss, taking a swipe at him. "Leave!" :A chunk of fur from his shoulders comes off in my hand and falls to the ground. He yelps in pain and a small part of me wants to apologize. But Cynical Shadefall is all that's left. Romantic Shadefall has been pushed somewhere far in the depths of me, somewhere where she can lick her wounds and cry and not get hurt again. Don't underestimate the things that I will do! :He tries to talk again, but I hiss and he sighs. Turning, he starts to pad away. Then he turns back towards me and whispers, "I'll be back Shadefall. I love you and I'll do anything to prove it." :He begins to bad away again, until I call out to him. He turns, his eyes alive with hope. I know my eyes are probably narrowed coldly, icy blue slivers of hate, "I'm telling the Clan. And if you come near me or my sister again I'll kill you." :I turn and run, hearing him calling for me to wait. But my tears have blinded me and my passion is gone with the fireflies. There's a fire, starting in my heart. :I sit in the field of daisies, feeling light headed and worrisome. Worrisome that Ember is late and worrisome that Shadefall will somehow find out. I sigh. She might wall herself off from love, but I know she wants it. Someone like Ember would be good for her...I feel a warm tingle and smile. But Ember is mine. '' :He arrives and I look up, smiling, "Oh hey...what happened to your shoulder!" :He looks disheveled, anything but his usual calm, cute demeanor. "Listen," he meows, glancing around, then lowering his voice, "I have to tell you something..." ''Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark. :Crying and furious, I march into camp. Almost immediately, Shadefall meets me and drags me back out. I screech a few awful things at her, but yelling isn't my type and she knows it. Calmly, she takes me to our little cove, a group of trees out father used to take us too and let us play in. She drops me and I roll to the ground, then jump up, shocked at seeing her usual calm and icy demeanor instead of something closer to my own blubbering mess. :"How long?" I choke out, "How long?" :"Oh relax, you were first," she meows sharply. But all the sarcasm in the world can't hide the pain in that one single response. :"How could you?" I whisper. :"How could I''?!" her eyes are incredulous and she laughs, "How could ''he?" :"Ember wouldn't do this," I say quietly, fearfully, like a kit being told it's mother is dead, "Ember is sweet and kind and-" :"Ember is none of those things," she scoffs. :"Yes he is!" I sniffle, "We collected herbs and left them in Mosseyes' den and we talked about StarClan and he told me I was the prettiest she-cat he had ever seen..." The scars of your love remind me of us, :I feel a stab of pain as I remember everything we did together. They leave me thinking that we almost had it all... :The herbs, hunting for the Clan when there just wasn't enough warriors to hunt and patrol, when he killed that owl that tried to attack me... :Shadefall is laughing and I hate her a little. :"Ember might've been all sweet and perfect for you," she meows, "But when we were together? He was curious and dangerous and just like me..." her eyes drift away from me and I tip my head. :"Like how?" :Still staring off, she replies, "We snuck into WindClan camp and sat in the center for five heartbeats. We climbed the tallest trees in the forest and looked into fox dens. We fought sometimes." The scars of your love, they leave me breathless :The pain in her eyes remind me I'm not the only one who's been hurt here. I curl my tail around her, sadly aware of the fact that she wouldn't cry in front of me even though I could tell she wanted to. :"I'm telling Dad," she meowed, trying to maintain dignity while sniffling. :"You do that," I say sympathetically. But I hope in my heart that Ember won't come back, that he won't get himself killed. Not for me. I can't help feeling... :The next day, I sit in my den wallowing in misery. Shadefall told our father last night about Ember and now the whole Clan is searching for him. And if he's caught he'll be executed. My heart aches. :I dread the day and I dread the night. Because I know that Ember would've come back. No matter what Shadefall thinks, he's a good tom. And that will lead to his death. :I languish in my nest, waiting...waiting...waiting for... :Shadefall pokes her head in, eyes bright, barely masked with fake sympathy, "Fernleaf." We could've had it all! :I run through the forest without saying a word to my sister. Because maybe if I can run fast enough I can reverse time and get to him first. I can let him curl his tail around me one last time and then look into those golden eyes and tell him that he has to run and never look back. I still get broken, but that way he gets away. :I burst into the clearing and take in the furious warriors, my grim father, my smirking sister with an aching heart. And then I met Ember's eyes. I want to tell him to run. But I'm rooted to the ground. I loose. Rolling in the deep... :Fernleaf is deemed too unstable to attend the council with my father, the deputy, medicine cat, and three senior warriors to decide Ember's fate. Mosseye, the medicine cat, is reluctant to kill him. I think he knows who collected herbs for him in the night. The senior warriors are on the edge. But in the end it it my decision. My father looks to me. :"What do you think Shadefall?" he asks. I look at him, knowing he wants to kill Ember just as much as I do. Fernleaf's agony and my misery are eating away at him. As my father he has to do something, anything, to help us. :Mosseye looks at me, "Just remember that we don't know Ember. We don't know who will miss him if he's gone, or wither without his care." :Fernleaf. :My sweet sister who is wailing in her den with pain right now. She can't bear the thought of his death, his betrayal. But honestly, if he's gone, she'll be okay. She'll move on. She's got to, because unless he dies he will haunt me forever. :"He lied to me," I whisper, "He lied to me and Fernleaf and I want him dead." :"Let it be," my father meows, the others melting out of the den. Mosseye shoots me a glare but I pretend not to notice. He doesn't have the right to judge me. :None of them do. You had my heart inside your hand! :I tried to visit him, but they wouldn't let me pass. :"You'll just hurt yourself," my father said. :Foxfur, the deputy nodded and licked my ear comfortingly, "Toms aren't worth it kitten. Just let him get what he deserves." :But he is worth it. I can't look at Shadefall. My sister...my heartless, hopeless sister. Everyone thinks I'm the baby, the one who needs to be protected. But she needs to be protected from herself sometimes. Because I know she loved Ember. :And I loved him too. And he loved me back. He knew he had my heart, why did he need Shadefall's ugly, messed-up one? I can't be angry at him though. There's not enough time to be angry. Except for Shadefall. And you played it....to the beat... :I stalk around camp, snarling at anyone who tries to talk at me. I can't stop thinking about Ember. :I remember the stories he told me about fighting foxes and other cats and all his adventures. I'd never met someone who was intoxicated with danger and daring as I was. But he knew that, didn't he? He played with me, like I was a mouse that he was just waiting to eat. :Well now he's gonna pay. :I hear my father's call and we all assemble ready to go down to the lake for the execution. Baby, I have no story to be told. :I end up with front row seats, next to Fernleaf and slightly behind my father. My sister leans against me. Her tears streak my fur and she heaves for breath every once in a while. I ignore her, mostly because I can't bear to look at her. :Ember is lead forward and everyone stops talking. He looks as collected as he's ever been and I feel a twinge of annoyance. I wanted him to be sorry. But he looks as happy as squirrel. :He spots me and smiles, "Hey Shadefall," I hiss and he smiles even wider, "Missed you this morning. Got to meet your friends though." :I smile sweetly, "Hope you had fun. Fernleaf wanted to come, but she had stuff to do at camp." :His face spasms in pain at the sight of my sister and I want to yowl at him. Why do I have to be the one he can joke around with? Why is she the one he actually seems to have feelings for? But I've heard one of you and I'm gonna make your head burn. Think of me in the depths of your despair :I close my eyes, feeling slightly sick. How did I go from being so in love to hating him so much? I want him to drown in that lake, I have him. But I also want to stop it. But there's no time to stop it, because he's being led into the lake. Make a home down there, as mine sure won't be shared! :I force myself to think happy thoughts. :Fine, go down there. I hope you have a great time and I never have to see you again! :But I can't push the thought away, of him lying at the bottom of the lake, unmoving, those golden eyes never looking into mine ever again. I wince. You're gonna wish you never had met me! :Dad looks to me and I know I have to be confident or he'll feel horrible. I plaster on a cocky smirk. The scars of your love, remind me of us... :I try to stop crying, I honestly do. And it's hard, but eventually I let out one last whimper and am able to stand straight and see again. Shadefall is smirking as usual but there's something in her eyes I can't read. Ember is being led away from me, into the deep gray water. Frogheart and Brownfoot swim alongside him, waiting to push him under. Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! :He looks back and I want to start crying again. But I force myself to be strong, to not think of the pain. They keep me thinking that we almost had it all! :But his sad smile, Shadefall's smirk, my father's sad, tired eyes remind me of every night spent under the daisies and fireflies. You're gonna wish you never had met me! The scars of your love, they leave me breathless... :Shadefall wreaths around me, hissing low enough for me to make out. :"Your gonna wish you never had met me!" :Her eyes are on his receding figure and I hold myself tall. Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! I can't help feeling... :Don't cry, ''I remind myself, ''Don't cry. We could've had it all! :We could've had the greatest love ever. Maybe he would've joined the Clan and I could be leader and he could be my faithful deputy and maybe there would be kits... You're gonna wish you never had met me... :I continue my wide circle around Fernleaf, stoic and tall Fernleaf, hissing. As if he can hear me. :"You're gonna wish you never had met me!" Rolling in the deep! :They are out in the deep water now. Brownfoot and Frogheart swim for a moment, looking to my father who nods once. They wait, finding their place in the river... Tears are gonna fall....rolling in the deep! :Why am I not crying? I should be hysterically sobbing. But I'm not. My body feels tired and weak, but I stare straight ahead, willing myself to watch everything, to blame myself for everything that happens next. For not being as fast or strong or smart as Shadefall. You had my heart inside your hand! :I loved him. You're gonna wish you never had met me... And you played it to the beat! :But he hurt me... Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! Could have had it all! :I tell myself to stop moping and will every single regretful thought out of my head. Fernleaf, weak Fernleaf, isn't crying. Why should I? I sent Ember to his death. :So memories and wishes and dreams fly out of my head, replaced by a cold hateful feeling that I don't like very much. Rolling in the deep! You had my heart inside your hand... :Softly, so no one can hear, I whisper every good thing Ember's ever done in hope that StarClan will hear and somehow save him. But you played it...with a beating... :Every single thing he did to hurt me...whispers that no one but me can hear. Throw your soul through every open door! Count your blessings to find what you look for! :"He gathered herbs. He saved me from a fox. He helped me cross the little Thunder path...oh StarClan save him, he's so good and sweet and it's not his time please don't take him...save him, please...please.." Turn my sorrow, into treasured gold... :"I don't care if I ever see him again, I just want him to live and be okay, please..." I blink slowly, my voice cracking with emotion, "Please StarClan save him." Pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown! :"It's not like with dying he can make it okay. He really hurt me. He made me hate him and my sister. And that's not okay. So this kind of makes up for that. he deserves this!" You're gonna wish you never had met me! We could've had it all! Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! :I look to Fernleaf, wishing she would just break down and cry. It's weird being the weak one for a change. I don't like it. We could've had it all....it all :I wanted to world for us. And now it's all over. It all :I look at the lake and realize while I was thinking, Ember has disappeared under the waves. It all! :I gulp. :Ember is gone. :The sun is sinking, turning the lake blood red. Red with his blood. Red with my pain and my hate and all of these agonizing thoughts torturing me right now. We could've had it all! :And it's over. Everything we could've had and everything I wanted. All done, all over. You're gonna wish you never had met me! :I bow my head. :If he hadn't met me, he would be alive right now. He might even be with Shadefall still. He would be happy and alive and laughing. Rolling in the deep... :I imagine his body, sinking to the bottom of the lake. I pray to StarClan to take him them. Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! You had my heart inside your hand... :I loved him... And you played it to the beat.. :And now it's over... Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! :Don't cry... We could've had it all! :Brownfoot and Frogheart arrive back on shore, coughing and trembling. The nod to my father to show what we already knew. :Ember is dead. You're gonna wish you never had met me! :My glowing, sweet, laughing Ember...dead... Rolling in the deep... Somewhere in the lake...golden eyes searching to me... Tears are gonna fall! Rolling in the deep! :I wasn't there to help him... You had my heart inside your hand... :I killed him... You're gonna wish you never had met me! :I stare up at the stars, ignoring my Clanmates who slip past me. They begin the walk back to camp leaving Fernleaf by the lake and me staring at the stars. But you played it... :Yes, he hurt me. He hurt Shadefall...but it wasn't his fault...he was sweet and kind and I loved him... You played it :Where are you going Ember? Where do cats who hurt others as much as you have go? You played it :I look past Fernleaf to the lake. Where Ember is. But I can't see him. :Out of sight, out of mind, ''I hope. :And he deserved to die... ''You played it... :I blink one last tear into the lake. :Bye Ember... To the beat... :Right? :Enjoyed it? :DDD Find out what happens next in Rumor Has It Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics